Walking

The leaves on the maple trees wave in the darkness, glistening with the moisture of the rain by the light of the streetlamps. My boots crush the fallen foliage into the sidewalk and leave ripples and eddies in puddles. I reach the corner of 13th and Pallow. I’ll head to the left this time. Everyone asks me why I do this, why I walk. Ninety-nine percent of these people know the answer to the question, but they are really hinting for me to tell them in my own words.

Those people aren’t really listening. As I explain the same story I’ve told a thousand times, they nod to show sympathy or acknowledgment. When they turn around to talk to someone else, both my story and I die with the loss of their attention, which was hardly there in the first place. If it wouldn’t kill them, I’d tell them to go to Iraq and bring back their own tales.

She was part of the one percent, one of the people who really understood and listened until she became part of the story. Her brother was over there with me. I came back and he didn’t. I got her email. He never told me he’d passed my address along to her in case something happened to him. It’s impossible not to wonder why it was him and not me. If I had given him contact info to pass along to my parents or something, would it have caused some cosmic twist of fate to send the bullet my way?

She came here to go to school or so she said. If I could handle it, I’d be in school, too. Instead, I’m here because it’s the one place I longed to come back to. This place is home. A small college town with plenty of trees, a river on the east side and nothing but two-lane streets inside the city limits.

We agreed to meet up at the River’s Bend, my favorite bar, for a drink. It was hard just meeting her. A tentative wave. An awkward hug and even more uncomfortable post-embrace moment. I saw him, his eyes and cheekbones. They didn’t belong to her. To anyone else, I’m sure she was attractive, but I couldn’t get past the association.

“It’s numb now,” she said with his lisp, staring at the table, halfway through her pint of Rainier. “I have this weight and I don’t know how to manage it.” I watched his eyes fill with tears on her face and felt the wall rising in my chest, the internal perimeter that kept my past from leaking into my present. She made it harder to arm myself against the memories.

Before meeting her, I dreamed we would mourn the loss together and wind up laughing and swapping memories of her brother, my friend, even though I knew it wouldn’t happen. If I had a few drinks, my mind would invent the meeting leading to a more intimate relationship. Impossible. She was too close to him and so was I. Conventional wisdom, common sense, and general rules of decency and sensitivity countered such a notion.

We met again after the quarter started. She looked a little different, but not enough to hide him. She had a backpack full of textbooks and a university T-shirt. Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she carried the aching weight of loss.

“It’s amazing I grew up here and never really noticed the college,” I said after I took my first swig of IPA and nodded at her shirt. “It was all in the background the whole time. The presence was always there, but I never noticed it or gave it much thought.”

“It’s amazing what we can miss even when it’s right in front of us.”

Something about the way she said it, the way her gaze moved away from me or how quickly she grabbed her beer after speaking caught my attention. I don’t know if it contributed to me calling her in the middle of the night a few days later.

I woke to the sound of the roars of war. My comforter was at the foot of my bed. I had clawed the sheets and mattress cover back. I had to blink sweat out of my eyes. My hands shook as I dialed her number. I don’t remember getting dressed or most of the walk to her studio. She was up when I got there and I collapsed in her arms. I didn’t want to look at her. I couldn’t. I needed to be with someone who would understand.

She guided me to couch and I sat, twitching and holding my hands together, my head bowed.

“He wrote about it,” she said, her hand on my knee. “If you need to talk about it or anything, I’m listening.”

What was it about the way she spoke? I looked up with sweat beading on my forehead. My voice was about as steady as my hands, turning my words into stuttering syllables.

“I wish I could miss this. It’s right in front of me, but I don’t want to see or hear it.”

I leaned toward her and even now I can’t remember what I was going for. A hug maybe but I got more than that. When it had started I realized it wasn’t what I wanted.

“Are you sure?” I kept repeating. Each time I asked, she replied with a determined stare. She unbuttoned her jeans and lifted her shirt over her head. As her face disappeared into the tank top, I saw her body for the first time, free of the association, and it didn’t help me resist at all. I realized she couldn’t understand the way I needed her too, at least at that level. I needed support that went beyond what she had already been able to give me. Maybe I helped her find temporary peace that night and at least my memories didn’t return. The encounter did give me something else to focus on in the time before I saw her again.

I didn’t get to see her again, though. Life isn’t ever so bad it that it can’t get worse. I started walking the night I heard that she took her own life.

A crisis in general is one thing but a crisis in a small town is completely different. I couldn’t bring myself to actually go there but I heard that her apartment door was surrounded with flowers, candles, and cards. The paper ran a story related to her every day for two weeks and then letters from the community for months after that.

She had been out with a group of friends at a bar and they had gone to her apartment afterward. After they left, she cut her wrists with a knife. I remember her arms; they weren’t like his at all. One of her friends left her purse behind. When she came back to get it, she saw the blood on the bathroom floor and called the police.

I thought I identified with her numbness when we first met. I stayed in my room after her death, staring at the walls and feeling blanker than them. My thoughts went out to her parents, strangers I had never met and never would, losing their two children in equally senseless ways. I remember standing up and staring out of my window at the sidewalk. The sight triggered my imagination and I saw her sprawled on the linoleum, feeling her strength diminishing. The vision made me hate my imagination more.

I tried to keep a journal, but the pain persisted and I often flopped back on my pillows in defeat. Writing sounded like a chore, but I had to come up with some way to express and to work through my thoughts. If I couldn’t spill my ideas on paper, I decided to try and let them go to the world around me.

I stepped out into the chilling embrace of the night. For all its imperfections and troubles, the world can absorb a lot of misery. I walked, trying to avoid all the places that would remind me of her. My boots scraped the pavement as I thought of her touch, her fingers sliding up my arm and down my back. Her hands had been soft and tender, smelling the like the lavender lotion I had seen in her bathroom. I don’t want to think about her bathroom.

What a waste, I thought. I had spent all the time I knew her dwelling on her similarities to her brother. Only after her death could I completely break the association. Her touch had been delicate, but the last time he touched me was when he pulled me from the rubble, his gloved fingers clutching my bicep. The world doesn’t always have to take your numbness; sometimes it gives you more to think about and since that first walk, I’ve kept at it. It’s my access to dealing with the past or at least gives me a moment to live with myself, the real me, before the haunting sounds and dead faces fill my consciousness.

I’m walking down 13th, leaving the cover of the maple trees. In moments of reflection, a lot of people gaze at the stars. Not me. I spent enough time looking at the damn things over there and now they only remind me of the sand and gunfire. Plus, looking up meant you weren’t watching what was in front of you and that’s how you die. Even when I tip my head back, the glare of the streetlamps blocks out anything beyond the top of the poles.

Observing the ground is much better. Unlike the sky, the ground has a lot more variety. Right now, I pause to watch the water running in the gutter, weaving around the fallen leaves and rocks on its journey. Just ahead, the trickling sound echoes out of the storm drain chamber. I’m sure they design them to magnify the call of the falling water. I never knew how much I missed it until I was over in the desert, thousands of miles from these storm drains and the rain that fills them.

I cross the street and hear the car in the distance. It sounds like it’s driving over a massive strip of flypaper as the tires roll on the wet pavement. I walk into the middle of the intersection. The lights and puddles cooperate to shatter the surface of the road from flat black to a shimmering mat of orange and shadows. I’m having second thoughts about my destination. In fact, the only destination I usually have is my home. I only walk to get closer to clarity.

This was spur of the moment, adding some kind of agenda to my ritual. I had avoided it all and realized that I had stopped listening to the stories from others. I already have too many illusions controlling my life and I don’t need to add this to the list. My imagination learned how to fool me too much over there and I won’t let it get in the way of her memory. I owe it to her to pay my respects. I return to the sidewalk and resume my trudging footsteps.

The neighborhood is changing from quaint houses and yards to the student residences. Even in the dim light I can see the paint chipping off the siding. The windows on the upper floors are dark, but the small ones in basements are blazing with light that filters through condensation. I pass a porch where a few guys about my age are talking. Their cans of Coors catch the light and flash at me like third eyes in sweaty hands.

My throat becomes dry when I see the only yellow fire hydrant in the whole city on the opposite corner. Laughter breaks out behind me and I stuff my hands in the pockets of my jeans, clenching my teeth and bowing my head. The fire hydrant means her apartment is two blocks away. I can already see the streetlamp marking the corner. The image appears in my head before I recognize it. Her on the bathroom floor staring at the hideous fluorescent light that buzzes over her fading heartbeat.

What I hate more than people hinting for me to tell my story is people projecting their own ideas on to me. I’ve heard more than I care to count of the disguised condolences that go something like, “How awful. I wish you could put this sort of thing behind you.” It’s like a fake apology where someone pisses you off and says, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” No accountability or remorse is expressed. I have and still do wonder about the unfairness of it all, coming home with the guns still in my head, but it is annoying, people confirming my feelings. No one has any real empathy anymore.

Someone hollers from across the street asking if I want a beer. I keep walking, sliding into the shadow of a tree. The offer hangs behind me and I’m happy to leave it. I’m numb enough without alcohol and I’ve got enough problems as it is. The white lamp is visible on the end of the apartment building. The last time I was here, I had approached from the north. The pavement had been dry and I only heard the tromp of my boots. Second thoughts are pouring in, trying to get me to turn around, to go somewhere else, to do anything but what I’m about to do.

I’m standing on the curb looking across the street to her apartment building, her bathroom. The glow of the streetlamp grows stronger and daylight is upon me. The world before me is much too bright. It’s just like when I stepped off the plane for the first time and had the sun hit my eyes. It’s the same sun as anywhere, but its effect is different there. I see my surroundings are nothing but rubble and my thoughts are no more coherent than the debris. I’m stuck in it, up to my waist.

The dull pain spreads through my legs and I feel the grip on my arm. I look up and see his eyes widen beneath his helmet as he tries to pull me free, his gun waving in his other hand. I struggle and feel my body sliding free from the shattered concrete. I instinctively retrieve my gun and hoist the butt to my shoulder, looking at the surrounding rooftops for signs of movement. He imitates me and in the tense moment, we make eye contact and I jerk my head by way of acknowledgement.

My legs are sore and bleeding, but it’s the least of my worries. The others got out and there’s no shortage of enemies around us. I turn at the sound of a distant explosion and he shouts my name. A push in the back sends me sprawling on the rubble as the sound of a single shot reverberates in the ruined plaza. I fall sideways behind a broken pillar, hoping I’m out of any gun sights as I push my helmet up from my eyes. A cautious glance upward and I see the man on the roof running from nonexistent retaliation.

I call my friend’s name and there’s no answer. No distant explosions or gunfire even offer a reply. I stretch my neck and gaze over the mounds of gritty debris and he’s lying facedown. I don’t need to get any closer to tell he’s dead. Though most of his face is hidden in the shadow of his helmet, the hole above his left eye spills blood over the rubble.

My other comrades appear, returning to rescue two but only saving one. As we ran from the plaza, grenades rained onto the debris. The resulting explosions are with me still, leaving no mark on my skin, but branding my mind. My brain likens any loud sound to the cracking of concrete walls from the power of the grenades.

I open my eyes and feel the water seeping through my jeans. I’m sitting on the curb, still on the other side of the street. The echo of an explosion fades in my head and I wipe a bead of sweat out of my eyebrow. I focus my attention on her door. The crinkly cellophane around the flowers reflects the light of the streetlamps. None of the candles are lit. I stand and cross the street for a closer look, stumbling as I try to shake off the memory.

The door is closed and the only comfort for me lies in front of it. Her friends from school did this. I crouch to read the cards and messages, mostly to distract myself from the feelings I know I can’t express. I want to feel them, but they’ve been buried. The wall is up in my chest and the sadness, anger, and misery are a part of me and beyond me.

I fumble in my back pocket and pull out a lighter. I don’t smoke, but I made a habit of carrying a Bic for the rest of the guys who could never find theirs. It is fitting that I should set her memorial candles ablaze, reprising my role as the igniter.

It starts raining as I stand and turn my back. The small roof over the door won’t keep the weather out for long, but I’m sure others will keep the flames alive. She clearly had other friends who cared a lot about her. I may not have many friends but I’m still breathing and until the day comes when I can’t, I’ll keep walking.

Part XX: Focus

Craig is up to something. He must be telling the others about how I doubted Macnelia. Never mind that he didnt take the shot that might have saved her. The man on Drometica was right about Craig: “Youre not the type who shoots and moves on. You agonize over the decision.If he hadnt hesitated, Macnelia might still be alive.

Jyra’s stomach contracted, interrupting her stream of thought. The memory of the guard Berk shot in Mastranadas engine room took command of her focus. The guard’s body must be buried under the shattered mountain, a tumble of broken rock, all that remained of the resistance base on Drometica.

How many guards did we kill on Orasten? But they were attacking. They wanted to kill us. And they got one of us.

Jyra sat up on her bunk, shaking her head and staring around her dimly lit room that had become a cell. The door refused to open and no one came to unlock it. The air vents were too small to accommodate her. She could do nothing but wait. Her thoughts returned to her home world. Jyra hoped to save it through her involvement in the resistance, but the heat on Tyrorken was rising and there was no way to stop it. In a few months, no one would be able to survive on its surface.

“How did I end up here?” she said aloud, pushing herself off her mattress to resume pacing. She swept her hair out of her eyes as her face split into an incredulous smile. There was no other way to acknowledge her peculiar circumstances. She had spent her life on Tyrorken dreaming of exploring space while working as an apprentice mechanic. She had never thought of killing anyone, let alone rationalizing such an action. And now here she was on an enemy ship the resistance commandeered (by chance), locked up by a former friend, with no explicit reason given for her imprisonment.

What do I do when they let me out? Jyra wondered. No matter the explanation, how can I properly serve some cause when, at any moment, someone might decide to lock me up? Jyra realized it was possible others had been sealed in their quarters too. Except Berk. If he ran out of whiskey, he’d smash his way out. He could probably manage it even if he had plenty to drink to keep him in check.

Jyra knelt on the floor and pressed her fingertips to the cold metal. She didn’t feel any vibration and supposed the engines were silent. For now, it seemed the resistance wasn’t rushing back to destroy TF ships. Jyra returned to her bunk and huddled under her blanket. She stared at the picture of Dario she had retrieved from Macnelia’s room. The frame had several deep scratches and some of the paint had chipped away.

Without thinking, Jyra stretched out her hand and picked up the picture. She turned it around and bent open the backing tabs. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but she certainly didn’t think a piece of paper and another photo would fall onto her mattress. The back of the photo of Dario was blank along with the backing. Jyra set the frame aside and picked up the loose photo. It was the picture Macnelia had taken of Jyra and Craig together in front of Mastranada before the bomb run. The smell of her neighborhood burning filled Jyra’s nose through memory. She half crumpled the photo and threw it aside onto her blanket. Her attitude toward Craig now couldn’t be more different from the moment Macnelia snapped the picture. It captured another time, not long past, though it felt as if years intervened.

Jyra turned her attention to the piece of paper and turned it over with trembling fingers. Jyra couldn’t even read for a moment, overwhelmed with the joy of seeing her brother’s words again.

The feeling didn’t last long as she began reading:

My dear Macnelia,

I hope the mountains are treating you well. My parents and I are looking into employment opportunities for me at TF. It looks like I might be working out on the rigs. Its not the safest thing to do, but it will get me into the company. My sisters worried enough for both of us, so dont you get nervous either.

I talked to Dad about the drilling compounds for the Drometica mission. Hes not sure why the containers arent identified. Normally theyre clearly marked. He told me some of them are likely more aggressive than the usual solvents, so be careful with them.

Theyve finally got the supply ship crash site mostly cleaned up. Even so, I went into town today and there are still lines of people outside the medical clinics.

Stay safe. Next time you see me, maybe well be coworkers.

All my love,

Dario

Jyra got to the end of the letter and recognized how much she marveled at her brother’s handwriting; she had been too distracted to absorb any of the content. She reread the letter and folded the paper in half, realizing Macnelia must have contracted her illness during her work for TF on Drometica. Dario was trying to protect her by identifying the chemicals she had to use. For some reason, as evidenced by Dario’s words, they weren’t labeled.

Until she saw it in the letter, Jyra had completely forgotten about the TF ship that crashed on Tyrorken, carrying drums of drilling solvents. Flames burned for days at the crash site, belching smoke the color of crude oil into the sky. The ship had gone down near a small suburb and within few weeks, every resident reported to medical clinics. After hearing about Craig’s parents and living through Macnelia’s death, Jyra was sure she knew what illness they had caught.

Maybe in the wake of the ship crash and the resulting threat to public health, TF started removing the labels so workers wouldn’t know if they were using harmful substances. Jyra rolled over, resting her head on her pillow and allowing her thoughts carry her to sleep.

She woke up, aware of a fading dream of the black smoke from the ship crash billowing upward. It mixed with the clouds and spread across the sky, moving with the wind. Even when a part of TF literally crashed and burned, it still brought the planet closer to death. Jyra hadn’t been able to accept the reality that Tyrorken was beyond saving. Even before Berk confirmed it, Macnelia had told Jyra TF was killing the planet. It seemed farfetched at the time, but it was happening and Jyra could do nothing to stop it. Until she could leave her room, she had no way to even know what was going on. She kicked the blanket off, her dream replaced by questions she couldn’t answer.

*

A muted clicking noise caught Jyra’s attention. She was sorting through her duffel bag on the floor and turned around, looking for the source of the sound. The door to her room slid back halfway and Leonick entered hastily. He immediately slid the door shut and let out a long breath.

“What’s happening?” Jyra asked, keeping her voice low.

“Craig,” Leonick said. “He had you sealed in your quarters. He has made some serious accusations against you.”

“Do they involve anything about how I thought Macnelia wasn’t fit to lead the resistance?” Jyra asked.

“Yes,” Leonick said. As usual, his face was impossible to read. “He also said you accused him of letting one of the ship guards shoot Macnelia.”

“He’s exaggerating,” Jyra said. “I told him I was worried about Macnelia. As it turned out, I was right to be worried. Am I the only one locked up and does he intend to keep me here while we try to wipe out the TF fleet with one ship?”

 

“Yes. Craig seems to have assumed the role of leader,” Leonick said.

“How? Why? I’ve never understood how that role is determined,” Jyra said, aware that her voice was growing louder. “Did he just claim it? Did everyone vote to grant him that position?”

“Things are certainly more charged than usual,” Leonick said. “He is telling people what they want to hear.”

“But you can see through it,” Jyra said. “We both can. There’s a difference between taking a wise path forward and waging a reckless attack. You’re opinion matters, too. What does Berk think?”

“I do not know what Berk thinks.”

“But you two are friends,” Jyra said.

“Sometimes,” Leonick said. “We have traveled together awhile, but Berk is not always himself. I believe he is more vulnerable now and more willing to follow orders.”

“What are they? What does Craig want to do?”

“He wants to head toward Tyrorken and, depending on the risks, start firing on TF ships.”

“What about the cameras?” Jyra asked. “You told everyone about them. Whatever ship you destroy makes you the next target.”

“Craig wants me to build a device that will send out a frequency that disrupts the cameras.”

“Can you do that?”

Leonick shrugged.

“Until I get something built, we cannot begin the assault,” he said.

“The attack still seems like a bad idea,” Jyra said, dropping back onto her bunk. “It’s like you said: agitated minds do not create sound plans.”

“I think I am underestimating how the loss of Macnelia is affecting the others,” Leonick said. “It could be the reason Craig and his plans appeal to them now.”

Jyra took a deep breath before she asked her next question.

“Do you believe what Craig said about me?”

“I do not,” Leonick said. “But I was struck by you comparing the resistance to the enemy we face. You are the only person aboard this ship who seems to have recognized the importance of distinguishing us from them. Craig’s desire to fight is a consequence of a general loss of focus.”

Jyra leaned against the wall. Although she had been cooped up in her room, she felt exhausted. She remembered how she felt after hearing that her home planet was lost. Never had she been so gripped by despair. Even following the deaths of those closest to her, Jyra had been able to act, to somehow respond to the atrocities.

“The resistance failed me,” Jyra muttered.

“I understand,” Leonick said. Jyra wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by that, but rather than find out, she asked a broader question.

“Why are you here?” she said.

Leonick crept back to the door and placed his ear against it for a moment. Then he walked across the room to stand in front of Jyra. He stared squarely into her eyes as he spoke.

“I am here to give you choice.”

*

Jyra didn’t know what to say in the wake of Leonick’s elaboration. One thing was clear: if Craig held his position as the leader, Jyra couldn’t hope to be involved in the resistance.

“I have no certainty about his long-term plan,” Leonick said. “That said, I would not be surprised if Craig tries to leave you at the next port, whenever or wherever that may be.”

Every time I think about the resistance, I think about its futility and weakness, Jyra thought. The idea didn’t trigger the usual mental misgivings or rationalizations. She accepted it and took a deep breath.

“I joined the resistance to bring down TF,” she said. “We destroyed their main complex, but wiping them out completely will take much longer unless we recruit more members. I don’t see that happening if we launch an attack we’re not ready for. The resistance won’t survive if Craig doesn’t make that a priority.

“I got into the resistance following my brother’s death. During the mission to rescue Derek, I heard my parents die. Now Macnelia’s dead. I can’t be surrounded by loss anymore, especially if I’m a subordinate to someone who wants to lock me in my room.”

“I understand,” Leonick repeated. “And I agree with you. Death is not easy to cope with, but I hope you find your way to the peace you need. You have a strong spirit and when TF eventually falls, I expect you will have a part in its demise.”

“If I had my way, I wouldn’t kill anyone ever again,” Jyra said. “I can’t imagine passing such misery to others.”

“I do not speak of taking the lives of people,” Leonick said. “I do not do that myself, but I have no qualms about ending an immoral organization that is responsible for thousands of deaths.”

“So my choice is to stay here or leave,” Jyra said heavily. “Are you suggesting I wait for Craig to pitch me out on another planet?”

“I figured you would rather choose your time of departure, which means you can leave whenever you wish.”

“You told me Craig is retrofitting Mastranada with one of the laser cannons,” Jyra said. “I can’t take that ship.”

“Nor would I advise it,” Leonick said. “No need to make Craig any angrier with you.”

“Well I don’t want to throw open a door and go for a walk in space. It’s cold out there and there’s nothing to stand on.”

“I thought a crisis capsule might serve as a better way to exit the vessel,” Leonick said.

Jyra hadn’t thought of that, but it made sense. She could fit everything she needed in one and, for the second time in her life, leave everything she knew behind.

“I don’t get it,” she said, shaking her head. “How come you aren’t leading the resistance?”

Leonick smiled his small smile.

“I am too smart for that,” he said.

“No seriously,” Jyra said. “Why aren’t you?”

“The position has been filled,” Leonick said, then his smile disappeared. “More to the point, I am not equipped to be an effective leader of this resistance. I would have to give orders to take lives. I have only chosen to kill once. That experience changed me, not for the better, and I do not plan to ever do anything like it again. Pack your things.”

*

Ten minutes later, they met in the corridor that led to the crisis capsules. Leonick presented Jyra with a heavy package wrapped in paper.

“Put it in your duffel if you can,” he whispered. “And be careful where you use it.”

“What is it?” Jyra asked.

“You will find out later,” he said. “We must hurry.”

They moved down the corridor, their ears straining to hear anything besides two pairs of footsteps. Once they rounded the first corner, Leonick spoke in the same whisper.

“Do you have any weapons?”

“A dagger.”

“Better than nothing,” Leonick said. “All the guns are secured now so I could not get one for you. Remember, there is no telling where you might land. It could be in a city or the wilderness. Take time to get your bearings.”

He pulled a bottle and small box from inside his coat and handed them to her as they walked side by side.

“Food and water,” he continued briskly. “If you run out of water and you are outside civilization, finding fresh water is your top priority. If there is an ocean nearby, do not drink from it.”

Jyra nodded stiffly. Each step she took toward the capsules reinforced what she was about to do.

“What planet am I likely to land on?” she asked.

“Silanpre I think,” Leonick replied. “It happens to be orbiting about as close as it gets to Tyrorken.”

“Isn’t that where Berk is from?” Jyra asked.

“It is,” Leonick said shortly.

“Does everyone believe what Craig said about me?”

Leonick didn’t answer immediately. At that moment, the crisis capsules appeared as the rounded the next corner.

“Neeka and Shandra seem to agree with his point of view,” Leonick said as Jyra set her duffel on the floor. “Derek defended you a few times but ultimately fell silent. I could not figure out what Berk was thinking. I suspect he still respects you.”

“I wish I could say good-bye to him,” Jyra said.

Leonick nodded and bowed his head ever so slightly.

“Too risky,” he said. “But I will pass the word along.”

“At least I can tell you good-bye,” Jyra said. “And thank you. We both know where I’d be if you didn’t come along. Why did you?”

Leonick paused again, but his face betrayed nothing about what went on behind his eyes.

“I do not know what Craig intended to do with you,” he said. “Locking you in your room was not a promising start. The way I see it, if someone is working against TF in any capacity, that grander cause is better served by keeping such a person out of confinement. Besides that, I think you are persistent and your ambition is bigger than this resistance. That is why I gave you a choice.”

“Persistent?” Jyra asked, raising her eyebrows.

“You are still here,” Leonick said. Jyra remembered telling herself that, but a ship wide broadcast interrupted the memory.

“Jyra, I know you can hear me,” Craig’s voice blared out of the nearest speaker. “I need to speak with you in the main hangar. Please meet me there in five minutes.”

“All significant choices have tests,” Leonick said, uncharacteristically rolling his eyes at the speaker. “But you haven’t lost focus,” he added as Jyra approached the nearest crisis capsule.

She pulled the access lever. The door dropped down and revealed the inside of the tiny spacecraft. The interior was painted gray. The small control console lit up beneath a porthole filled with far away stars. A single seat complete with a built-in safety harness, sat in the middle of the capsule. A small storage locker had been framed into the wall next to the door and Jyra managed to stuff her duffel inside it and secure the latch.

“You can figure out how to control it,” Leonick said. Jyra wasn’t sure if it was a statement or question.

“I can’t exactly navigate, can I?” Jyra said.

“A couple thrusters can push you left or right to avoid obstacles during landing. Aside from that, the capsule falls where it falls.”

“Why overcomplicate something like falling?” Jyra said, hoping the sarcasm would settle her nerves. She placed the food and water on the floor next to the seat, and noticed the water rippling in the bottle. She stepped back into the corridor for a final good-bye.

“If I land in the ocean, what do I do?” she asked.

“There is a raft in the locker with your duffel,” Leonick said. “The capsule should come to the surface and remain there for about fifteen minutes before it sinks so get out as fast as you can.”

Without another word, Leonick opened his arms and pulled Jyra into a brief hug. She felt his greasy shirt and caught the aroma of stale whiskey, suddenly struck by how much she was going to miss it.

“Thank you again,” she said. “Good luck with the time machine.”

Leonick only smiled. Jyra turned her back to climb into the capsule. She cinched the harness around her and took a deep breath. She almost forgot about the provisions next to her on the floor; she scooped up her water and food and secured them in a compartment next to the console.

Jyra placed her palm over a yellow button, its blinking light throwing an amber glow onto the walls, and dropped her hand. The capsule began to vibrate and Jyra heard the launch drive winding up. The door hissed shut, the cabin pressurized, and the dynamo roared, spitting the capsule from the ship and taking Jyra into space with it.

Part XIX: Reckless

The resistance gathered at the airlock to release Macnelia’s body into space. Jyra wasn’t sure how long everyone stood in silent vigil. Another Mourning Mark smudged Jyra’s forehead. Beneath her sadness, she felt anger festering. She glanced sideways at Craig and her jaw tightened.

“Peace for now and always,” Leonick said. Everyone repeated the words and Berk pressed the button to open the airlock.

Neeka clutched Derek’s arm and shook with grief where she stood. Shandra wrapped her arms around Craig and the two of them held each other in silence against the wall of the corridor.

Jyra left the group. It was easier to feel alone in solitude rather than in company. She followed the corridor back to the main hangar. The next thing she knew, she had returned to Macnelia’s quarters. Chairs were still drawn around the bed. The blanket was missing from the mattress; Berk had wrapped it around Macnelia’s body before carrying her back to the airlock.

Jyra crossed to the bedside table and looked in the open drawer. She saw two more bottles, but neither bore any clues about what ailment the contents were supposed to treat. At the very bottom of the drawer, Jyra found something far more interesting. She pulled out a framed picture of her brother. It had been taken around the time Dario began working at TF. His dark hair hung across his forehead, hiding his eyebrows. His eyes, however, gleamed against his suntanned face. Jyra pulled the picture against herself, as though it would bring her closer to her departed brother.

Macnelia had rejoined him somewhere. Jyra remembered when Leonick discussed the idea of galaxies parallel to Kaosaam. In one of them, perhaps Dario, Macnelia, and her parents still existed. The thought provided Jyra little comfort, because it only reinforced how terrible things had become in her galaxy.

Jyra caught herself thinking about Craig again and tried to push him out of her mind, but for all the good it did, she might as well try to bring her family back from the dead. She hated herself for letting thoughts of Craig distract her in a time of grief. She knew she had been at odds with Macnelia lately, but she was positive it wasn’t all her fault. Something had happened to Macnelia before the bullet hit, but even her behavior in her last moments had been odd.

Jyra remembered her discussion with Berk and her own words filled her head. “The way Macnelia’s been talking about this assault, it’s as though she wants it to be the final one. It seems she doesn’t care if it kills her.” Unrest on Tyrorken and an inability to assess conditions on the planet had prevented the initiation of the assault. Even now, Jyra wondered how Macnelia planned to attack the TF fleet with two ships, one of them unarmed.

The sound of footsteps interrupted Jyra’s obsessive analysis of the feasibility of the assault. She tucked the picture into her jacket then turned to see Leonick in the doorway. His expression forlorn, he entered and sat in a chair on the opposite wall of the room. Seeing him reminded Jyra of the way Macnelia looked at him with her smile as she lay in Orastens hangar, her life leaking away. Jyra felt tears searing her cheeks as she spoke, but her voice was quite even.

“She seemed relieved,” she said, shaking her head. “I can’t understand why.”

“I can,” Leonick said without hesitation.

He picked up one of the bottles from the edge of the bed where he’d left it.

“Berk was not the only one who ran out of a remedy,” Leonick said. “This bottle held a nerve anti-degenerative. This pill is manufactured to treat a specific disease. Being from Tyrorken, I assume you are familiar with the illness.”

Jyra drew a blank until she remembered Craig’s parents.

“Somasteria,” she said, wiping her face dry as a chill swept over her.

“Correct,” Leonick said.

“Did you know?”

“Not until I saw the bottles when I treated her right before she died,” Leonick said. “I too believe she was relieved, but it does not minimize the sadness.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Jyra said. “I can’t imagine living with a disease like that.”

Leonick drew out his flask, and took a long sip. He offered it to Jyra and she accepted, thinking of her father drinking from his flask after Dario’s funeral.

“When did she get sick?” Jyra asked, cringing as the liquor burned her throat.

“It is difficult to say,” Leonick said. “Not everyone sufferers from the illness in the exact same manner. Some symptoms last longer, shorter, or do not occur at all. The only way to know is if she gave someone that information.”

Jyra immediately thought Berk might have known. Although, when she had asked him directly about Macnelia’s strange behavior, he didn’t mention anything besides stress as a possible cause. Jyra didn’t think he would have lied to her. She felt her mind starting to analyze again and she struggled to ignore it, wanting to hold Macnelia in her thoughts.

As though he sensed Jyra’s mental conflict, Leonick asked a question, which helped to center her.

“What is the significance of the Mark?”

Jyra stared at the two fingertips that still bore the dark stain of charcoal. She could feel the powder sticking to forehead.

“It’s a tradition on Tyrorken,” she said. “The idea is we come from darkness and we must return to it eventually. The Mark makes the feeling into something visual. It helps keep memories alive of those we’ve lost, but who we still love and care for.”

Leonick considered the information for a moment and nodded slowly.

“Wear it well,” he said, pushing himself out of the chair. “I think I need to lie down.”

“Me too,” Jyra said, following Leonick from Macnelia’s room.

Alone in her bunk, Jyra stared into the darkness, wondering when she might follow her family into it. She rolled over, willing herself not to think about it. Before she fell asleep, she wondered if Leonick practiced any customs for the death of a friend.

Jyra still smelled the smoke from the gunfire when she awoke; the odor had settled in her clothes and hair. As her grogginess subsided, she remembered Macnelia had been killed and it became harder to sit up. Hurried footsteps outside her door stoked her curiosity, though. She dressed quickly and made for the bridge, certain that’s where the person had been headed.

Neeka was looking over Berk’s shoulder at Berk’s computer. Berk smelled strongly of whiskey (more so than usual) and his hair stuck out in all directions. The skin beneath Neeka’s eyes sagged and she looked exhausted. It appeared as though both of them had dressed quickly.

“What’s going on?” Jyra asked, striding toward them.

Neeka glared at her, but Berk answered, not taking his eyes off the monitor.

“We’re losing the planet,” he said.

“What?” Jyra said. Did he mean TF was gaining the upper hand against the Nilcyns?

“I should have seen it earlier when I was planning the assault,” Berk said. “I studied all those weather maps and didn’t make the connections. The wind readings threw me off.”

“What?” Jyra repeated.

Neeka left Berk’s side and walked toward the exit ladder.

“Tyrorken’s dying,” Neeka said, her voice hollow and strained. “The pollution’s overwhelming the atmosphere.”

“How?” Jyra demanded, grabbing a chair and sitting next to Berk. “How can you tell?”

“Projection,” Berk said. “Look at the temperature history. It’s been climbing for months. TF has access to this information, but I’ll bet there are few souls on Tyrorken who can map weather so precisely. The temperatures are increasing much faster now. Soon, you might only be able to survive on the surface with a protective suit, and not for long even then.”

Jyra placed her head in her hands and stared at the floor. She remembered looking at her fragile world through the sight on the laser cannon. She couldn’t save Tyrorken any more than she could save her family. Then words, thoughts, and feelings failed her. TF had taken her family, Macnelia, and her home planet. She stood up, and placed a hand on the back of Berk’s chair to steady herself.

“There’s…no way to reverse it, is there?” she said, realizing Berk probably expected her to say something.

“I don’t think so,” Berk said gently. “I’m sorry.”

Jyra felt her hand slip from the chair. Her mind went blank again and the next thing she knew, she was stepping off the bottom of the ladder into the main passage. Given all the hardships Jyra faced—losing her brother, fleeing her home planet, hiding mere feet from her parents when they were shot, to watching Macnelia die—for the first time, she felt hopeless. She would have preferred to feel nothing.

Jyra heard someone coming up the passage and Craig appeared, walking at a brisk pace.

“I just saw Neeka,” he said. “She said Tyrorken won’t be habitable much longer.”

Jyra gave a dull nod.

“What’s going on?” Craig asked.

“Nothing,” Jyra said. “My family’s dead along with my home world and Macnelia too.” She walked past him.

“Don’t say that,” he said. Jyra looked at him over her shoulder.

“I’ll say what I please,” she said, her mind working fast as she recalled the food supply run she and Craig had made on Drometica. “It’s just like the man said when he had the gun on you in the stock room. You struggle to make decisions, and even when you do, the consequences of the decision haunt you. Is that why you froze in Orastens hangar? Is that why you couldn’t take the shot that might have saved—”

“Stop!” Craig shouted advancing on Jyra, who fell silent.

“I’d advise that you quit verbally attacking resistance members,” Craig said. “This isn’t the first time you’ve done it, and I can promise you it will be one of the last if you keep it up. This resistance doesn’t need help from traitors.”

Craig spun on his heel and climbed up the ladder before Jyra could say another word.

*

Jyra had fallen asleep fuming from the latest interaction with Craig. She knew she shouldn’t have provoked him, but she couldn’t help feeling justified that it showed what he thought of her. How had she fallen out of favor with him so quickly? She remembered when she told him that she questioned whether Macnelia was fit to lead the resistance. Once she had convinced Craig she was only concerned for Macnelia’s welfare, he mentioned the difficulties she might have encountered if the conversation had been with another member of the resistance.

“You’d really be in trouble then,” Craig had said. Though his tone was lighthearted, it sounded more foreboding in Jyra’s memory.

A knock on her door roused her. Berk waited in the passage. He had done nothing to tame his hair and looked as haggard as before.

“We’re meeting in the main hangar in ten minutes,” he said, after taking a swig from his flask. “The resistance needs to get its bearings.”

“Do you feel well enough to meet?” Jyra asked, hoping she didn’t sound rude.

“My head’s killing me,” Berk said, clamping his palm to his forehead. “I had to…overindulge to rebalance my body. Sorry if I scared you during the fight.”

“Not at all,” Jyra said. “You just surprised me. I didn’t know you could fight like that.”

“I don’t know where the strength comes from,” Berk said. “I can’t do it all the time. You’ll have to ask the hospital, I suppose.”

“I’ll get right on it,” Jyra said, her spirits slightly elevated by Berk’s presence. She could see the impact of Macnelia’s death in his slumped shoulders and drooping eyelids. Even so, she gave Berk a small smile and assured him she would be at the meeting. Berk set off down the corridor, leaving Jyra to wonder how she would handle being in the main hangar with the rest of the resistance, particularly Craig.

Jyra assumed everyone had slept after Macnelia’s memorial, but, like Berk, they all looked spent. Neeka was trembling. Derek tried to comfort her, but his arm seemed strained just by supporting its own weight. Shandra’s skin was paler than usual and Craig stared at the floor, unwilling to lift his chin above his shoulders. Leonick sat down on the floor of the hangar, barely hiding a heavy sigh. Everyone else followed his example, forming a small circle on the floor.

“I thought it would be a good idea to gather and discuss what’s happening now and what we’re doing next,” Berk began. “Hopefully, we’ll establish our future actions and goals by the time this meeting’s over.”

He paused. Jyra wasn’t even sure he had completed his thought, but Neeka spoke up.

“Don’t we already know what we’re doing?” she said. “We’re going after TF ships.”

An uncomfortable silence followed and Berk spoke again.

“Recent discoveries suggest that may no longer be a wise course of action,” he said. “According to the weather instruments aboard this ship, which are some of the most accurate you can get anywhere in the galaxy, Tyrorken is succumbing to the high levels of pollution in its atmosphere. A general estimate gives the planet about two months before it becomes uninhabitable.

“The second discovery,” Berk said, lowering his head for a moment, “is Leonick found medication in Macnelia’s quarters that indicate she’s been suffering from Somasteria.”

Jyra saw Craig look up, his eyes narrowed. She wasn’t sure what caused it, but Jyra suddenly realized she didn’t want to hear anything Craig had to say, so she spoke before he could.

“I’ve been concerned about Macnelia’s behavior,” she said, suddenly aware of how insensitive she sounded. “She was a strong leader, but it might be worthwhile to revisit her plans and discuss whether we should pursue them.”

“If I understand you correctly,” Craig said, and Jyra heard the anger in his voice, “it sounds like you’re saying if someone has Somasteria, their ideas are subject to more scrutiny or should be discredited entirely.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Jyra said. She cast about in her mind for a way to direct the group’s attention elsewhere. “But I will say I think it’s a concern when a couple people destroy another ship without consulting the rest of the resistance.”

“An enemy ship!” Neeka cut in sharply.

“TF and the Nilcyns kill without a second thought!” Jyra yelled. “What you did shows we’re no better than them!”

“Careful,” Craig said sarcastically. “I can’t tell if it’s you or an illness talking.”

“Enough!” Berk roared, his voice echoing around the hangar. “No more pointless bickering. I’m sure we all have the best intentions for the survival of the resistance.”

Jyra heard the words, but realized she couldn’t agree with them. The resistance was all she knew, but her last statement replayed again and again in her head.

Why was the resistance any better than TF or the Nilcyns? The resistance had taken out the TF complex on Tyrorken, saved Derek, and acquired a TF ship. But it hadn’t been able to save Tyrorken or Macnelia, the leader of the resistance. The moment Macnelia had been wounded, Neeka had taken it upon herself to destroy the enemy ship and Craig joined her.

It was too reckless, Jyra thought. That was the difference. Bombing the TF complex had been planned for a long time. She knew innocent people had been killed, but at least that consequence had been considered. We had time to come to terms with what we were doing. We did it as a group, Jyra reflected. Shooting Orasten was nothing but a thoughtless act of revenge.

Jyra shifted her focus back to the meeting, though she regretted it immediately. Craig was discussing Somasteria and Macnelia.

“You can’t just assume the disease compromised the plans she crafted,” he said. “My parents kept their mental faculties until the very end.”

Jyra bit her tongue, self-conscious of how the group would react if she challenged Craig. But she wanted to because he lied. When he talked to her about how Somasteria affected his parents, Craig told Jyra in the early stages of the illness, his parents had issues with their memories and sleeping.

Her mind drew a parallel so quickly, Jyra felt as though the thought ricocheted inside her skull. When the resistance left Drometica, the time bomb Macnelia set to destroy the base went off much sooner than expected; the blast nearly took out the whole resistance. Jyra found out later Macnelia hadn’t been able to recall exactly what she did that might have triggered the bomb.

Craig’s voice jolted Jyra back to the hangar.

“There’s no reason we shouldn’t keep hunting down TF ships,” Craig said. “Or does everyone want to quit that easily?”

Shandra put a hand on Craig’s arm, but he only returned his gaze to the floor and fell silent.

“This isn’t about dishonoring Macnelia’s intentions,” Berk said. “We’re here to make a new plan of action. Going after TF ships isn’t the most practical approach. We have one armed ship so I think it’s too risky to launch a full-scale offensive.”

“Why didn’t you raise this concern before?” Neeka asked.

Berk took a deep breath before he replied.

“I admit that I didn’t like the plan from beginning, but I didn’t want to dampen Macnelia’s spirits at the time,” Berk said. “I’m not proud of it.”

“It may be risky, but I think Macnelia’s vision is still the best way forward,” Craig said. “TF ships are still under siege by Nilcyn forces. They’re distracted, which means now is the perfect time to strike.”

“Do you know why I sent you to stop Neeka from shooting Orasten?” Leonick asked Craig. He didn’t wait for a reply.

“Most TF vessels are equipped with cameras on their hulls. In the event of rapid decompression resulting from laser blasts or the impact of other heavy ammunition, the cameras snap images that generate a complete picture of the surroundings. One camera usually captures the identification key on the attacking ship. These images are beamed along with a distress signal to nearby TF ships. If Orasten was close enough to them, those TF ships will now know this ship fired on a friendly vessel. I know that a distress package from Orasten went out, because we received it on one of the bridge computers. I meant what I said to that captain about betrayal. TF ships will turn guns locked onto Nilcyn targets toward us if they have the slightest chance of shooting us down.”

Craig shifted uncomfortably on the floor. Jyra didn’t realize she had been holding her breath the moment Leonick began speaking.

“I suggest we take a break,” Leonick said. “We are not making any progress. I think everyone needs to relax for a moment. Agitated minds do not create sound plans.”

*

Jyra lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t clear one thought from her head. Of all the uncomfortable moments in the meeting, she couldn’t get past the realization that she wasn’t sure how she felt about the resistance. Craig and Neeka seemed determined to follow Macnelia’s desire to destroy the TF fleet. As far as Jyra could tell, both Craig and Neeka had ignored Leonick at the end of the meeting.

Jyra stood up and paced in her quarters as memories of the meeting cascaded over her. She hated how she had characterized Macnelia and her illness. She wondered what everyone thought of her now. Jyra didn’t mean to insult Macnelia’s memory, but as she thought about it, Craig was guiltier of that than anyone.

Nearly all his arguments were based on carrying Macnelia’s vision forward, which looked fine on the surface. The more Jyra thought about it, the more worried she became. Craig was very driven. He’d been that way at the garage. Sometimes he would work late into the night, desperate to complete a project. Nothing else mattered until he finished. He’d latched onto a part of Macnelia’s vision and wanted to achieve it, even if it meant ignoring significant warnings from members of the resistance and lying to them.

Jyra stopped pacing and faced the door. She couldn’t keep her thoughts to herself. She had to tell someone. The door to her room, however, wouldn’t open. She tried several times, but it didn’t budge. Jyra pounded on it and called for help. The beats of her fists faded into silence. She slumped against the door, quite certain she knew who locked her in.

Part XVIII: Loss

“Greetings,” Macnelia said, stepping through the airlock into Orastens hangar. The boarding party followed and reformed in the neighboring ship. Macnelia lowered her weapon and everyone behind her did the same. A small group of Orastens crew waited halfway across the hangar near several large crates. Most of them had their arms folded across their chests, except for Lyle who began walking toward the boarders.

All of the exposed pillars, trusses, and girders were painted gray to match the walls and ceiling. Jyra noticed numerous scratches and gouges in the steel deck and remembered Orasten usually carried supply tanks of O2 that made life on Tyrorken possible.

“Hello,” Lyle said with a stiff salute. Macnelia imitated him and dropped her arm first. Lyle leaned forward ever so slightly and inhaled causing Macnelia to step back half a pace, bewildered.

“Sorry,” Lyle said. “Can’t be too careful even with all the established precautions.”

“What are you talking about?” Macnelia said.

“Nilcyn tactics,” Lyle said. “I’d have thought a patrol ship would have received the latest report about Nilcyn boarders. They keep the O2 levels on their ships lower and adjust to that air. When they raid other vessels all the air rushes into their ship, depriving O2 to those they attack.”

Jyra understood what it felt like to breathe thin or polluted air. She suspected the tactic wouldn’t work quite as well against Tyrorken natives.

“We’re very busy and don’t have time to stay on top of such memos,” Macnelia said briskly. “I am sorry for the inconvenience of this inspection, but it must be done.”

“Where is Tynisha?” Lyle asked. “I expected to see her.”

“We are the advance guard,” Macnelia said. Jyra could tell that she was thinking hard as she spoke. Lyle didn’t seem to notice. “She’ll be along. Until that time, may we begin our inspection?”

“Please,” Lyle said, stepping aside with an inviting sweep of his arm. He led the way across the hangar. The boarding party followed, while Macnelia asked questions.

“Now that we’re face to face, what is your destination?” Lyle hesitated for a moment before answering.

“Pennetmore,” he said.

“Third moon of Jiranthem,” Macenelia said. “What are you doing there?”

“It’s just a drop point,” Lyle said.

“And what are you dropping there?”

“These crates,” Lyle said. His crewmembers moved aside to expose the unmarked boxes. Jyra suspected it would take about three people with Berk’s build to lift one.

“What’s in them?” Macnelia said. This time, Lyle prolonged his hesitation. A hand went to the back of his head to relieve an itch and he broke eye contact.

“I’m sorry,” Lyle said, a nervous laugh escaping as he spoke. Jyra sensed it coming before he said more. He doesnt believe us.

“This is an awkward situation,” Lyle continued. “Since you’ve stepped aboard my ship, I feel as though things aren’t adding up. I am told I’ll meet with your captain. Instead I get you. I mention the Nilcyn air-deprivation tactic, common knowledge among TF officers, but that you know nothing about. Speaking of common knowledge, how is it that you don’t know Pennetmore is nothing but a standard drop point? Now you’re telling me you have no idea these are—”

“—Payroll transportation crates,” Leonick interrupted from behind Macnelia. He lowered a finger from his ear as he spoke and fixed Lyle with his standard serene expression.

“Yes,” Lyle said. His voice sounded the same as when Neeka had informed him that she knew he was stoking his engines.

“Please forgive my deception, Captain,” Leonick said stepping forward. “My name is Leonick Enaren, Captain of Valiant Conductor II. If any of your crew are monitoring this conversation elsewhere on the ship, do not bother running my name against the database. You won’t find me there.”

“Then you’re no captain,” Lyle said, his face reddening.

“Sir, if the Nilcyn attack has taught you anything it should be not to blindly trust what you see on a computer. Data is easily manipulated, added, or deleted.”

“And why would you want to be deleted from the officer database?”

“If the Nilcyns can get to that database, they can get to you,” Leonick said, taking another step toward Lyle.

“You seem to know an awful lot about the way they work,” Lyle said. The accusation was too obvious to miss.

“Do not be foolish, sir,” Leonick said, in the same steady tone. “If we were Nilcyns, you would be dead already. Though, speaking of ‘the way they work,’ I believe it was you who just informed us of the air-deprivation technique Nilcyns are so fond of using.”

“That came from a report directly from headquarters!” Lyle said hotly.

“This report was delivered to you personally by the one who authored it?”

“Of course not,” Lyle said.

“Exactly,” Leonick continued. “In the current circumstances, there is no way to verify such a report. But whoever wrote it is irrelevant because it does nothing but bolster the Nilcyn agenda.”

Lyle was either too confused or outraged to even ask what that meant so Leonick pressed on.

“The report spreads fear and fear can cause people act against their own interests, sometimes without knowing it. At the very least, fear clouds judgment and leads to rash decisions.”

“Are you calling me a coward?” Lyle said, taking a step toward Leonick.

“I am calling you nothing but Captain, Captain,” Leonick said. “However, the first thing you did upon meeting us was check the air. Clearly, the report influenced you.”

“I suggest you conduct your search and let me get on my way,” Lyle said, his mouth clenched tight as he leaned toward Leonick.

“I detect a note of whiskey on your breath,” Leonick said. “One of my companions has just run out. Could we talk you into releasing a barrel? I see a stash of them against the wall.”

He was right. Several barrels of whiskey were lashed around a nearby pillar. Jyra felt Berk shift anxiously behind her.

“I’m afraid we are charged with its safe delivery to Pennetmore,” Lyle said.

“Why so keen to be afraid, Captain?” Leonick said. “The Nilcyns are not the only thing to fear, nor should you fret about failing to make a delivery. Betrayal is far worse.”

Macnelia raised her weapon and the boarding party followed suit, including Leonick.

“What are you doing?” Lyle demanded, lifting his hands to shoulder height.

“You are a disgraceful officer,” Leonick said. “Spilling mission secrets to anyone who boards your ship. I expect nothing better from a parasitic corporation like TF, but the reality is much worse than the expectation.”

“Step away from the crates and put your hands on your heads. Now!” Macnelia screeched.

Orastens crew and her captain shuffled into a corner, covered by Craig and Shandra.

“Grab a crate,” Macnelia said. She, Jyra, Berk, and Leonick all lifted the box nearest to the airlock. They carried it across the hangar and managed to drop it in the corridor of their ship.

They nearly had a second crate through the airlock, when pounding footsteps sounded behind them. Reinforcements were about to enter Orastens hangar. The crate fell to the floor with a heavy thud and its bearers raced back to the stack in the middle of the hangar for cover. Even as Jyra slid behind the nearest box, gunfire broke out. Craig and Shandra dropped to their knees. They were still able to contain the captain and the crewmembers, but the crates offered them limited protection from the twelve guards who entered the hangar.

Macnelia threw herself onto the top of a crate before Orastens defenders could properly assemble and she shot one. Berk pulled her down as a hail of bullets came her way. Some of the guards were moving toward the captives, but they couldn’t shoot at Craig or Shandra; a stray bullet would likely hit an Orasten crewmember.

The rest of the guards were advancing around the other side of the crates where Jyra had taken shelter. She looked over at Berk just as he turned his face toward her. Something wasn’t right about him. His eyes narrowed and his pupils seemed to swell.

“On your right!” he yelled. Jyra looked back and saw one of the guards who almost had her in a line of fire. She shot at the guard while clutching her gun with one hand and the recoil slammed her elbow into the floor. Jyra didn’t know how she managed to hold onto the firearm as she rolled sideways away from the approaching enemy.

“Did you get hit?” she shouted at Berk. She wasn’t sure why his face contorted in such a twisted expression.

“He is out of whiskey,” Leonick said.

The significance of Berk’s physique, his drinking, and the tattoo on his wrist came back to Jyra and she eased away from him as he clutched the corner of the crate. Jyra rolled over and fired another shot (prepared for the recoil this time) to hold off the guards. When she looked in Berk’s direction again, she saw the metal of the crate beneath his fingers buckle. His teeth were locked together as he pulled himself into a crouched position. Jyra sent another defensive shot over the crates as Berk’s back rose into range.

Then he acted. In one fluid motion, Berk stood up to his full height, each of his hands digging into a corner of the metal crate; he handled the box as if it were made of cardboard. The spectacle distracted the guards near Jyra, if only for a moment, but it was enough. By the time they aimed their guns, Berk had thrown the metal box at them.

One of the guards jumped right into Jyra’s sights to avoid the projectile and Jyra shot him automatically. The crate crushed the other three guards; Jyra realized she had shot the fifth guard in the group earlier with her cover fire.

Leonick managed to hold the rest of the guards from getting close enough to target Craig and Shandra. He sent precise warning shots across the hangar that made an impenetrable barrier. These guards, however, were firing at the crates with greater accuracy than the others; no one behind the crates could get a direct shot at them.

Berk grabbed another crate and began lifting it, his arms vibrating with both the strain and the impact of bullets on the opposite side of the crate. He didn’t stand straight up this time. Instead, he pivoted and threw the crate from his hip. The first level of crates on the floor shielded his lower body. Berk fell directly onto his back and every bullet that came his direction missed.

The second crate caused the guards to scatter. Jyra wasn’t sure how he did it, but Berk was suddenly on his feet, leaping toward the broken formation. He tore the TF jacket in half to pull his shotgun free of the green fabric. He fell one guard with his firearm and sank his free fist into another guard’s ribcage.

The remaining guards stormed Craig and Shandra, who were forced to turn away from the captive crew to defend themselves. Macnelia stood and aimed at Lyle as he leapt to his feet. One of the guards turned his gun toward her just as Craig aimed at him. Jyra crawled forward to pull Macnelia down. Craig sat hunched on the floor, his gun extended, but his finger froze on the trigger. The guard fired just as Berk swung his shotgun at him from behind. The blow from the barrel stove in the guard’s skull.

Shandra shot the last guards and spun to cover the captives again. Craig turned clumsily to keep them contained as well. Leonick got to his feet, aiming his weapon at the cowering Orasten crewmembers.

“No one move!” Berk bellowed. Jyra could hardly see him through the smoke that hung in the air.

Macnelia was sitting on the floor, her body propped against a crate. Jyra reached her side, but didn’t realize something was wrong until she saw Macnelia’s gun lying about five feet away on the floor.

“It’s over,” Jyra said quietly.

“I know,” Macnelia said. “It’s been over for a long time.”

Jyra moved around in front of Macnelia and saw the wet patch of blood spreading across the chest of her TF jacket.

Jyra felt her voice catch in her throat and her mind went blank. She lost all awareness of the smell of smoke, the mission, and the ship around her.

“Don’t worry,” Macnelia said. Jyra didn’t hear the words, only the sound of weakness. She reached behind her, struggling to address the crisis.

“Leonick?” she croaked. Her groping hand found his calf. Jyra felt him kneel beside her.

Jyra watched him as he looked at Macnelia’s face with a serene smile and she replied with a strained grin. Then he turned his attention to the wound and gently eased her onto her back.

Berk emerged through the smoke, holding a whiskey barrel under each arm and his shotgun in his hand. He’d opened one barrel and spilled most of it down his front as he consumed it. He dropped both barrels and his gun and fell to his knees at Macnelia’s side when he saw the blood. The open barrel emptied onto the floor as Berk took one of Macnelia’s hands in his own rough fingers.

“We’ll get you fixed up,” he growled.

“There’s no need,” Macnelia said. Her breath came up short and she coughed.

“What’s going on?” Shandra called.

“Get back to the ship,” Macnelia whispered. “We got what we came for.”

Berk shoved the shotgun into his belt, picked Macnelia up, and walked into the smoke toward the airlock, kicking the barrel of whiskey as he went. The barrel rolled onto Valiant Conductor II and Berk swung his boot into the crate nearest to the airlock. It glided across the threshold and settled in the corridor beyond.

Leonick and Jyra followed closely behind him, while Craig and Shandra brought up the rear, keeping their guns aimed at the captives.

Leonick broke from Jyra’s side and collected another barrel of whiskey from the wall.

“He will need it,” Leonick said as he rolled it into the corridor. Craig and Shandra stepped through the airlock and hit the button to close the door.

Berk set off up the corridor, Macnelia hardly visible around his wide frame.

“What happened?” Shandra asked, noticing the heavy silence.

“Macnelia’s been shot,” Jyra said.

“What?” Shandra shouted. She began running after Berk. A dull clang signaled Orasten had detached. Craig kept his eyes on the floor. Jyra was about to approach him, when Leonick dropped a hand from his ear again.

“We have a problem,” he said. “Derek just told me Neeka headed for the main hangar. She saw what happened through my camera and she is going to destroy Orasten. I have to attend to Macnelia. One of you must go stop her.”

“I’ll do it,” Craig said and he set off at a run.

Jyra followed Leonick toward Macnelia’s quarters, but she couldn’t shake a nagging feeling that something wasn’t right about Craig’s behavior. He seemed too eager to stop Neeka. Jyra made for the main hangar instead.

She entered just in time to see the two cannons fire, Neeka operating one, and Craig the other. Jyra ran toward the artillery, skidding to a halt at the base of Neeka’s weapon.

Orasten was already further from Valiant Conductor II than Jyra would have thought possible, the engines facing the hangar.

The lasers converged and disappeared in the glow of the exhaust ports. Then Orasten bucked forward from the impact. Sparks turned into flames and flames became a fireball. Multiple silent explosions tore the ship asunder and the debris floated outward from where Orasten once flew.

“What did you just do?” Jyra shouted.

“Vengeance,” Neeka said, climbing down from the gunner’s platform and fixed Jyra with a fierce glare. “They shot Macnelia.”

“What are you so upset about?” Craig said to Jyra as he approached. “They’re the enemy. Do you care about them more than Macnelia?”

“Of course not!” Jyra shouted.

“I thought you wanted to destroy TF,” Craig said. “Is blowing up an enemy building somehow different than blowing up an enemy ship?”

Jyra turned her back. It was too overwhelming. Witnessing Berk without alcohol, Neeka and Craig destroying Orasten, Macnelia wounded—Jyra began walking, tuning out Craig and Neeka who continued to holler questions she couldn’t answer.

The door to Macnelia’s room was ajar. Jyra looked in and saw Derek, Shandra, and Berk sitting near her bed. Leonick leaned over Macnelia. Even from the passage, Jyra could tell her breathing was shallow.

She entered quietly and came to Berk’s side. His head was bowed and he was sipping from Leonick’s flask since he hadn’t been able to refill any of his own yet.

“Can someone find another rag?” Leonick asked gently. Shandra opened the dresser. Jyra leaned over to the bedside table and went through the top drawer. She extracted a small towel and several bottles fell out of it. They were all empty, but the labels on the side revealed they had held some sort of medicine at one point. Leonick noticed them as he grabbed the towel.

“What have you got there?” he asked, taking the bottles. He only glanced at them, before setting them back on the bedside table and lowering himself to the mattress. He placed a hand on Macnelia’s forearm.

“I am sorry,” he said. “Peace for now and always.”

Without another word, he left the room. Jyra’s mind felt as empty as when she first noticed Macnelia had been shot. She sank onto the mattress where Leonick had been. Jyra reached out to grasp Macnelia’s hand as she drew a final breath and went still.

Part XVII: Orasten

Every thought in Jyra’s mind evaporated. Her curiosity about Macnelia, the repetitive reflections of the awkward encounter with Craig and Shandra, as well as her own anxiety disappeared. Once she heard Neeka’s report of the incoming enemy ship, she began sprinting toward the storage lockers on the other side of the vast hangar.

Jyra didn’t even pause as she heard three pairs of feet hitting the hangar floor as their owners jumped from Mastranada.

“What’d she say?” Craig called after Jyra. “Where are you going?”

“Come help! Now!” she yelled over her shoulder.

She wrenched open the shutters to the lockers. Light from the hangar spilled in, revealing large, dusty power cables for the laser cannons. The others arrived as she dragged the end of one cable out of a locker. Craig and Shandra leaned against the wall, recovering from the run. Leonick helped pull the cable Jyra had selected.

“What’s happening?” Shandra said between gasps.

“There’s a TF ship heading right for us,” Jyra said. “Neeka just reported it.”

Craig looked out into space through the invisible atmospheric shield cast across the open hangar door. The tiny speck of Tyrorken was all he could see besides the countless, distant stars.

“We’re in a marked TF ship. They might not even notice us,” he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Do we have a plan?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” Jyra said. “But whatever we come up with, I’d feel better if our guns were armed and prepared defend us.”

Shandra staggered out of the other locker, pulling the second power cable. Craig seized it too and the four of them heaved the thick cables toward the cannons.

“We don’t even know if those are TF agents on board,” Jyra said, as they neared the artillery. “It could be a TF ship under Nilcyn control.”

“Where are the others?” Craig asked. Jyra wasn’t sure why she had an urge to slap him.

“I’m sure they’ll be here soon,” she said, through clenched teeth. The further they traveled toward the cannons, the heavier the cables became. “In the meantime, let’s get these where they belong.”

Berk and Macnelia approached just as Jyra and the others managed to energize the cannons.

“What’s going on?” Shandra asked.

“There’s a ship identified as a TF vessel headed our way,” Macnelia said, her voice hard and stern. “It’s not quite on radar, but Neeka’s got the code cracked and hacked into its nav computer. Its trajectory is going to bring it right by us.”

“How can we trust its trajectory?” Craig said. “Why would TF even make that information accessible when they are under siege?”

“It wasn’t simply accessible, but there’s a reason for the ease of locating it,” Macnelia said. “Neeka did a lot of digging. Turns out they had four other trajectories posted, but she weeded out the true one from the fakes. They made a special effort to throw off those that might pursue this ship.”

“Why?” Jyra said.

“It would indicate they are carrying something valuable,” Leonick said.

“Exactly,” Macnelia nodded, her eyes gleaming. “We almost didn’t catch this coming at us, but now we know. The multiple trajectory report also suggests they’re probably much more nervous than we are. If they’ve got classified or sensitive material on board, they won’t be keen to engage, which gives us the advantage, so let’s take it.”

“So it’s definitely a TF ship?” Craig said.

“It seems to be,” Berk said. “Neeka’s program was able to determine slight variances between the TF and Nilcyn code. As the conflict has progressed, the codes have become more distinct.

“Now, our working plan is to apprehend the approaching vessel and we’ll pose as a TF patrol ship. We conveniently have a small Nilcyn ship we captured sitting in our hangar—” he jerked his head at Mastranada “—which can prove our credibility beyond the legitimate security and identity codes embedded in this ship. It should be easy to detain them for questioning before they can pass.”

“I thought we were just going to destroy them,” Shandra said.

“That’s what we thought, too,” Berk said. “Until we suspected it might be worth the risk to board them to seize their cargo.”

“Board them?” Jyra repeated. “If they’ve got something so important, won’t they have guards protecting it?”

“Not necessarily,” Macnelia said. “They kept a low profile while getting away from the planet. Armed guards are useless once they’re in space. One blast from a laser cannon destroys the ship and everyone on it.”

“It’s a point worth considering, though,” Berk said. “Hopefully, we can get close enough to either scan the ship or command them to report the number of people they have aboard.”

“Won’t that sound a little suspicious?” Craig said.

“Not if we convince them that we’re superior officers,” Macnelia said.

“If I am understanding correctly,” Leonick said, “the only reason we believe this incoming vessel is under TF control is based on the TF signals it sends?”

Macnelia nodded.

“Therefore, it is possible the ship could be operated by Nilcyns,” Leonick said.

Macnelia opened her mouth, but Berk stepped forward and ever so slightly raised a hand to discourage her from speaking.

“What do you recommend?” he asked Leonick.

“I suggest we establish visual communication with this incoming ship as soon as they are close enough,” Leonick said. He spoke as though he had this planned for weeks. “If we are speaking with TF agents, they ought to be in uniform. We have access to the database of officers on the main computer of this ship, which means at least one of us will need to dress up and pretend to be one on camera. Macnelia is right about detaining them; we can only manage it if they believe we have the authority to do so.

“If the incoming vessel refuses visual communication, I suggest we shoot it down the moment it comes into range. I am certain that if Nilcyns do in fact have control of that ship, they will fire on us the first chance they get.”

Berk broke away from the group, heading toward the bow of the ship.

“Where are you going?” Macnelia asked.

“The bridge,” Berk said. “I need to start checking the database.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Macnelia said and Berk paused.

“I do,” Jyra said. She was too preoccupied to realize she contradicted Macnelia.

“I think Leonick’s plan will give us a clear idea of who we’re dealing with on the inbound ship,” she said. “And once we know that, we’ll still have time to shoot first or demand to inspect their cargo.”

“All right,” Macnelia said, unable to hide her exasperation. “In addition to checking the officer database, you’ll need to ensure the visual com is operational, find an officer’s uniform, organize a boarding party as well as gunners—” she waved a hand toward the cannons—“decide who’s going to speak to the crew of the other ship, and initiate communication with them. I want an update in an hour. The inbound ship will be here in three.”

She frowned at Jyra as she pivoted to depart for the bridge. Berk followed, though at a slower pace to keep some distance from Macnelia.

“I don’t think she’s mad at any of us,” Shandra said, shifting uncomfortably. She didn’t seem convinced by her own words.

“We can worry about that later,” Jyra said, hoping to curtail any discussion about Macnelia. “She’s right, though. I like Leonick’s plan—” she glanced at him, but his face remained as impassive as ever—“but it’s going to take some preparation. I assume Berk is looking into the officer database. We will at least need an officer’s jacket.”

“The laundry facilities,” Shandra said at once. “Everything that might have been in the crew quarters likely got sucked out with the breach. There’s a hatch off the main passage that leads to the laundry bay, though. I don’t think anything got pulled through it.”

“Good place to check,” Jyra said. “Go see what you can find.”

Shandra set off, leaving Leonick and Craig with Jyra.

“As for a boarding party,” Jyra continued. “I figured we would leave two people here on the ship, similar to how we ran the rescue mission for Derek. Of course, he’s not in any condition to fight, so I think it’d be best if he joins Neeka on the bridge. Are you willing to serve on the boarding party, Leonick?”

Leonick closed his eyes and appeared to fall asleep where he stood.

“I will, but I will not kill anyone,” he said, after a few moments of silence.

“If we play our role right, there won’t be any need to kill,” Jyra said.

“We need more than just a TF officer’s jacket,” Craig said.

“What do you mean?” Jyra asked.

“The moment we board and it’s clear we aren’t who we claim to be, whoever is waiting for us will attack. Shouldn’t we all be in full uniform to preserve the surprise? Regardless what they tell us over the com, five people might greet us, or it could be fifty.”

“I suppose it all depends on what we can find,” Jyra said, shrugging. “If we locate enough uniforms for all of us, great. If not, we’ll just have to make a quicker entrance.”

“I’ll go see what I can dig up,” Craig said. Jyra realized he was making for the laundry bay, too. Her irritation must have shown in her expression, because Craig narrowed his eyes at her, but then his face split into a wide smile and he performed an exaggerated salute before turning his back.

“Should we prepare the cannons?” Leonick asked.

“Yes,” Jyra said, sensing the energy of her anxiety transforming into motivation. “Once we’ve done that, I wonder if you’d update Macnelia on our progress.”

“I will,” Leonick said.

*

Forty-five minutes later, Jyra and Leonick climbed onto the bridge. All the members of the resistance, except for Macnelia, were present. Derek and Neeka were sitting next to each other in front of Neeka’s console. Craig and Shandra were sorting through a pile of green trousers and jackets, assessing their condition and sizes.

Berk stood up from his computer and thudded past Jyra, raising a finger toward Neeka.

“You’re the lookalike,” he announced.

“I’m the what?” Neeka said.

“You’re going on visual com with the incoming ship.”

“Why?”

“It’s part of the plan,” Jyra said, hurrying over. “You’re going to tell them we’re a patrol ship inspecting all incoming and outgoing transports from Tyrorken.”

“We’ll lure them in with that story,” Berk added. “Then we’ll find out what they’re working so hard to protect.”

“Who’s boarding?” Derek asked.

“Everyone except you two,” Jyra said. “We need you here as the broad eyes for this operation.”

“Fine with me,” Neeka said.

“I’d probably just slow you down,” Derek said sarcastically, glancing at his wounded leg. Jyra saw through the dry humor that he wasn’t happy at all to remain on the bridge.

“Here,” Shandra said, interrupting by throwing Neeka a green jacket. “Try that on.”

“It’s got the correct stripe pattern,” Derek said.

Neeka pulled the jacket on and got to her feet, checking to see how it looked.

“Come see who you’re impersonating,” Berk said. “Unless you’re in the middle of something. I’ll fill you in on our story.”

“I’ve got it,” Derek said, shifting his chair in front of the monitor.

Neeka and Berk moved over to Berk’s computer. Jyra leaned in next to Derek and saw the radar schematic of the incoming ship.

“What kind of ship is that?” she asked.

“O2 supplier,” Derek said. “TF has a whole fleet of them. They’re the reason you can breathe on Tyrorken.”

“How long have they been importing clean air?” Jyra asked.

“Since people struggled to breathe on the surface,” Derek said. “It’s not a bad choice for a getaway ship, though. They’re some of the most frequent transports on and off of Tyrorken and wouldn’t draw much attention.”

“Is it still producing a TF signal?”

Derek tapped several keys and a reading appeared on the bottom of the monitor. He nodded.

“Positive TF identity,” he said. “They’re almost in audio com range. If we’re posing as a patrol ship, we’d better initiate the communication.”

“Is the visual com set up and ready?” Jyra asked.

“Berk already took care of it,” Derek said. “It’s on standby.”

Jyra glanced over at Berk. Both he and Neeka were leaning over his monitor, discussing the officer Neeka was about to mimic. Jyra suddenly remembered the altercation with Craig on the gunner’s platform. She wondered how Berk might have reacted if she’d had the same conversation with him.

It seemed Berk often made an effort to shelter Macnelia. He soothed her in moments of stress. He’d advised Jyra not to point out Macnelia’s odd behavior to other members of the resistance. However, in the last hour, he had motioned for Macnelia’s silence in order to hear Leonick. Despite Macnelia’s frustrated departure from the main hangar, Berk appeared entirely unperturbed and focused as he made every effort to execute the Leonick’s plan.

A small radar icon began spinning on the monitor. The sight of it and Derek’s shout jerked Jyra’s attention back to the bridge.

“The ship’s in audio range!”

“Thanks Derek,” Berk replied, his growl as low as ever, but it seemed to fill the cavernous area of the bridge.

“Are you ready?” Berk asked, his eyes glittering at Neeka under his wild hair.

Neeka only nodded and picked up the com microphone.

Derek typed several commands into his computer before sitting back with a strained sigh.

“Ready to transmit,” he said.

Neeka gulped and clutched the microphone, staring at the screen with her script. Then, she clamped the button with her finger.

“This is Tynisha Miter, Captain of ring patrol vessel Valiant Conductor II. This message is for the captain of the approaching ship Orasten. Please respond for further instructions.”

Jyra would never have guessed Neeka could sound so authoritative. Though her hands shook, her voice was bold and clear. Jyra glanced back at the ladder where Leonick had been standing, but he wasn’t there.

“I think he went down to give Macnelia an update,” Craig said softly, gliding up beside Jyra.

“What have you been up to besides doing laundry?” Jyra whispered.

“Shandra and I composed Neeka’s script with help from Derek,” Craig said, clapping Derek on the shoulder.

“It’s not hard,” Derek said, giving Jyra a small smile. “Once you capture the snappy and pompous rhetoric, any TF agent will assume you’re one of them.”

Neeka recited her opening line again, though this time she added “or we will fire” to the end of her final sentence.

The blatant threat didn’t elicit an immediate reply. She glanced sideways at Berk and gave a hopeless shrug.

“Do I need to see to the cannons?” Craig asked.

“Wait,” Berk said. Only a few seconds passed before a voice from Orasten crackled out of the speakers.

Valiant Conductor II this is Lyle Deleanor, Captain of transport Orasten. Hold your fire. Repeat, hold your fire.”

“Understood,” Neeka said. “Where are you headed?”

“I’m sorry, Captain,” Lyle replied. “Information about my mission is strictly classified.”

“I am as concerned as you are given the attack,” Neeka said. “But I have orders as well, which command me to search ships both coming and going from Tyrorken.”

“I have orders to keep a steady course,” Lyle said, sounding uncomfortable.

“You needn’t disobey them then,” Neeka said. “Based on the scan in front of me, our ships have compatible airlocks, which means I can conduct my search without delaying you.”

“I’d rather not—“

Jyra flinched as Neeka continued in a darkened tone.

“Let me explain something to you,” she said fiercely. “Our company is under siege. We are at war. And in case you are unaware, our enemy has an uncanny ability to pretend to be us by mimicking our codes and transmitted signals. That means once we’re in visual com range, we’ll have a screen-to-screen discussion to make sure you are who you say you are. If I’m convinced you are loyal to TF, I won’t shoot you down, but merely request to board your ship and make sure you are transporting what you say you are transporting. You are, as you mentioned, a transport.”

“Who authorized this?” Lyle said. Even over the com, he couldn’t hide his nerves.

“That is classified,” Neeka said. “Contact me when you’re in visual range. If you fail to do so, or if you decide to make a run for it, I’ll blow your ship in half.”

Neeka let go of the microphone and fell into a nearby chair.

“Good performance,” Berk said. “A little more…forceful than I pictured.”

“Extremes are always easier to fake,” Neeka said with a small smile. She pushed the collar of the TF jacket down from her chin. “How long until I have to go on camera?”

“Another half hour by the looks of it,” Derek said. “I think you scared that poor bastard.”

“Leonick’s just filled me in on the plan. What’s our current status?” Macnelia said, stepping out of the ladder well. “

“Neeka just spoke to the incoming ship,” Berk said. “They’ve been informed that if they don’t agree to be searched, we’ll wipe them from space.”

“How did they take the news?” Macnelia asked.

“I don’t think the captain knew what hit him,” Craig said. “We just have to wait for them to request visual com once they’re in range.”

“If they don’t initiate the call, I said we would destroy them for that as well,” Neeka said.

Jyra watched Macnelia closely as her brow furrowed and she clutched the railing near the ladder.

“You didn’t sound too antagonistic, did you?” Macnelia asked after a moment.

Why didn’t we bring her up here sooner? Jyra thought. This is only going to stress her out more.

“Neeka did an excellent job,” Berk said.

“Replay the transmission,” Macnelia ordered. She strode over to the central console and picked up a pair of headphones.

“Playing back,” Berk reported, nodding at Macnelia to begin listening. She didn’t move or seem to react at all as everyone waited in silence.

Jyra heard soft footsteps and looked over to see Leonick moving toward the ladder. She crossed to him before he disappeared.

“Where are you going?” she whispered.

“To the cannons,” Leonick said. “We have to be ready.”

“What about Macnelia?” Jyra said.

“I think I know how she is going to react,” Leonick said and descended out of sight.

Macnelia pulled off the headphones when the playback ended.

“You sounded convincing,” she said, giving Neeka a small smile. “Who wrote the script?”

“We did,” Craig said. He and Shandra stood near Derek, who continued to monitor Orasten’s progress.

“It worked for the most part,” Macnelia said. “Though it came off much stronger that was necessary. We don’t want to destroy the ship if we don’t have to. The whole reason we’re going to all this trouble is to get a look at what they’re transporting. There’s no need to be so hostile at this stage.”

“Are you ready to participate in this operation, then?” Neeka asked. Jyra didn’t detect any note of sarcasm or bitterness in the question, but Macnelia didn’t receive it well.

“Don’t patronize me,” she snapped. “That’s why I’m here. I want to go over the visual com script.”

“It’s on your screen,” Berk said.

“You’ve got about half an hour to forty-five minutes before they’re in range,” Derek said.

Macnelia didn’t say a word as she read. Although everyone else resumed preparations to intercept Orasten, they exchanged glances, waiting for feedback. Jyra rejoined Derek at his computer.

“They’re still on track,” Jyra said, keeping her voice low so as not to disturb Macnelia.

“So far he’s following orders,” Derek said.

“What’s that?” Jyra asked, pointing at a flashing icon in the corner of the screen.

Derek reflexively bent for the keyboard, before he realized he hadn’t seen the pulsing green dot before.

“Neeka, what’s this?” he said. Neeka had started helping Shandra and Craig fold up the extra TF uniforms, but she came to Derek’s side. The moment the green light reflected off her face, she sat in an empty chair and pulled herself right up to screen.

“I need the keyboard,” she said, her fingers already striking the keys nearest to her. Derek rolled aside and the stern of the radar image of Orasten began flashing green in time with the icon.

“What does it mean?” Derek asked gently.

“I wrote this identifier into the radar,” Neeka said, her focus never leaving the monitor. “It’s a thermal sensor alarm. They’re preparing to gun their engines.”

“Trying to run?” Jyra said and Neeka nodded.

“What do we do?” Derek said.

“Nothing for the moment,” Neeka said. “They’re too far out for us to fire a warning shot. They don’t know that we can see this, either. Best leave it as a surprise for Lyle once he’s on camera.”

Jyra glanced at Berk and saw that Macnelia had moved to his side. They conferred quietly, their attention periodically shifting to the monitor. Macnelia was rubbing her wrist. Berk stretched and it caused the sleeves of his jacket to pull back from his hands. Jyra caught sight of Berk’s wrists, the skin shining in the harsh light from the monitor. She wasn’t sure where the thought came from, but she suddenly wondered if Macnelia might have a tattoo similar to the one Berk had.

It’s not just stress, she thought. Something else is bothering her.

Just as soon as the idea arrived, Macnelia called Neeka’s name.

“The script is ready,” Berk announced.

“And you should be, too,” Macnelia added.

“The ship is preparing to jump past us,” Neeka said.

“We won’t let that happen,” Macnelia said. “We need you to get in front of the camera now.”

Neeka straightened her jacket and pulled her hair back firmly. She already looked more severe than Jyra had ever seen her. Derek remained at his computer, but everyone else began moving toward the central console where Neeka stood, waiting to receive the visual call.

“Put these on,” Shandra said, passing out jackets.

“Walk with purpose if you cross into the shot,” Craig said. “That looks less suspicious.”

“Best that most of you step back,” Derek said. “We’ve got an incoming call.”

The discussion got off to a promising start. Lyle wore the proper uniform of a TF captain and the crew moving behind him also appeared genuine. Berk checked Lyle in the officer database and confirmed his identity. It soon became clear, however, that Lyle would not easily submit to Neeka’s demands. He spoke of a need to arrive at his destination within a certain time frame to transfer his cargo. Then he mentioned his low fuel levels.

“In that case,” Neeka said slowly, judging Lyle’s reaction as she spoke, “why are you stoking your engines?”

As expected, Lyle fell silent and she pounced.

“You’re getting quite close to my ship now,” she warned. “I’ve got a live report of your engine operations and if you don’t shut down your booster right now, I’ll blow it off your ship. You’re in cannon sights, which means it’s too late to run.”

“Stop threatening me,” Lyle said. “We’re all on the same side here.”

“If that’s true I need you to prove it,” Neeka said. “Right now, you aren’t cooperating.”

“These are dangerous times and I’m exercising caution,” Lyle said, gritting his teeth. “I’m sorry if you don’t consider that cooperating.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Jyra saw Macnelia pick up another microphone from Berk’s console. She spoke into it with a low voice and pointed at Neeka.

“Watch out,” Neeka said, her eyes locked on Lyle’s through the camera.

Jyra heard a dull thud that echoed through the main passage. The sound reverberated briefly on the bridge and faded. Lyle cried out in shock.

“You will be sorry for not cooperating,” Neeka said. “Next time, it won’t just be a shot across your bow. I’ll begin rotating my ship to bring our airlocks into alignment. I look forward to meeting you in person.”

“As you say,” Lyle said, beads of sweat blossoming on his forehead. “I will see you shortly.”

*

Footsteps echoed in the wide corridor as the boarding party proceeded to the airlock. Jyra clutched her gun, hoping that if she strengthened her grip she might keep her arm from shaking. She kept her other hand in her waist pocket. Everyone wore green TF jackets and trousers. Berk looked the most unconvincing of the whole group since his uniform was about three sizes too small.

A scan of Orasten indicated the ship’s airlock would open right into its main hangar. Whatever was worth taking would likely be stored there. The scan hadn’t been precise enough to get an estimate of how many people were aboard. Neeka asked Lyle about it early in the visual call, but he only replied that he had a standard number of crew. A confused expression accompanied his answer and Neeka thought it best not to press the point.

The boarding party turned a corner and Jyra knew they were getting closer to the airlock. They were on the port side of Valiant Conductor II, walking past a row of crisis capsules, which provided crew a way to escape the ship if it were in jeopardy. Not a single capsule had been launched; no one had made it here once Jed’s sabotage began.

Macnelia stopped in front of the airlock and the boarding party assembled behind her. Berk shifted and Jyra thought she heard several seams tearing. He fidgeted and pushed at something under his coat. Jyra suspected it was his shotgun. Leonick raised his flask toward Berk, but he shook his head.

“I’m out,” he said. “Hopefully they’ve got some more on this wreck.”

Leonick tipped his flask back to his own lips and took a long sip.

A thud, followed by a resounding clang, signaled the docking of Orasten.

“Raise your weapons and follow me,” Macnelia said. A light near the airlock turned from red to green. She opened the door and illumination from Orasten spilled onto the boarding party.

Part XVI: Codes and cannons

Two Tyrorken days went by and Neeka hadn’t made any significant progress toward solving the code. She had taken few naps on Macnelia’s orders, but returned to the bridge immediately upon waking to analyze the cryptic communication on her monitor.

Nearly everyone else aboard was thinking about how they would attack the TF fleet, but nothing could be finalized until Neeka translated the code.

Jyra’s anxiety toward the looming battle had grown so fierce she found herself going to bed earlier each night. Her family returned in her dreams and she didn’t have to think about the resistance or fighting. When she first moved into her room, she put her mother’s locket and Dario’s dagger in the drawer with her clothes. Now she kept them next to her bunk so that they were the last things she saw before she slept and they were there when she woke, waiting for her.

Of course, she couldn’t stay in her quarters all the time. Jyra caught herself feeling envious of Derek because he spent almost every day in bed, but a rush of guilt banished the thought. He’d been wounded helping her escape from Tyrorken in the first place.

As she stepped into the corridor from her room, Jyra felt the pressure build in her chest as she considered heading up to the bridge. Neeka would be there, glued to her monitor and running her fingers through her hair. She would also see Berk, who had taken over another computer. Jyra didn’t know what he was up to, but she presumed, were it possible, that he was spending as much time as Neeka on the bridge.

Hoping she could give her anxiety the slip, Jyra abruptly walked the opposite way toward the main hangar. By the time she reached its polished floor, worry threatened to ensnare her again, but she quickly found a distraction.

Craig was standing on the gunner’s platform of one of the laser cannons. Jyra could see him testing levers on the control panel. It occurred to her that although the resistance had been eating meals in the midst of the heavy artillery, she hadn’t ever examined how to operate them. As she approached, Craig looked up and nodded at her. She jogged the rest of the way to the base of the main cannon body and climbed up a set of rungs to access the platform. The entire weapon was about four times Jyra’s height. The barrel, if stood on its end, would be half the height of the cannon.

“How’s it going?” Craig asked when Jyra joined him next to the control panel.

“Fine,” Jyra said, surprised that she felt it was true. Her curiosity with the unfamiliar machine banished her anxiety.

“I thought it might be a good idea to learn how these things work,” Craig said. “It’s not like we can form a plan yet, but whatever we come up with, I think we’ll need cannon fire at some point.”

“What’s the basic firing sequence?” Jyra asked.

“Set your sight camera monitor,” Craig said, pulling the screen away from the turret on an articulated arm. He tapped a button and the blank monitor lit up, showing Tyrorken, a sandy sphere hanging in front of the twinkling stars of the galaxy. Jyra stepped closer, noticing her home planet in the crosshairs.

“Can the camera zoom at all?”

Craig pressed another button on the side of the monitor and Tyrorken appeared somewhat closer; a few of the ships in its orbit were visible now.

“These levers rotate the turret horizontally, and this one raises and lowers the barrel,” Craig explained. “It’s pretty straightforward.”

“It can’t fire now, right?” Jyra said, grasping the large lever that could only be the trigger.

“No, everything it’s doing now is off of its batteries,” Craig said. “We need to hook it up to the power cables before it can generate a lethal laser. Give it an adjustment,” he added, nodding at the levers for rotation.

Jyra moved one and the turret swung to the left, turning toward its fellow. She tugged the other lever and brought Tyrorken back into the cannon sight. The planet seemed so close. Jyra thought it should be so much easier to come to its defense.

“I liked Berk’s idea,” she said. “We should take Mastranada to see what we’re up against.”

Craig shook his head.

“Not until Neeka gets that code settled,” he said. “Macnelia won’t allow a scouting mission until then.”

“So we’re supposed to keep sitting on our hands?” Jyra said. She paused, expecting her anxiety to silence her or that she might think about the consequences of what she was about to say. A mixture of fear and urgency pushed the words through her lips.

“I don’t think Macnelia should be leading the resistance.”

Craig stared at Jyra. His mouth was half open and his eyes betrayed his alarm.

“I know she hasn’t been quite right recently,” he began, making an effort to keep his voice calm, “but you can’t just claim that.”

“I wasn’t claiming anything,” Jyra said. “I expressed my opinion.”

“A mutinous opinion,” Craig said, lowering his voice as he glanced behind the turret to make sure no one was listening. Jyra was too stunned by his words to reply for a moment.

“I didn’t mean—”she began.

“But you said it,” Craig interrupted.

“Let me finish,” Jyra snapped. “I’m not starting a resistance within the resistance, but I just wondered what you thought about Macnelia as a leader.” In the back of her mind, Jyra remembered Berk had told her not to discuss Macnelia’s odd behavior with anyone else, but she had already blundered into the territory.

“I’m not happy that we’re sitting out here like this either,” he said. “Nor do I think it’s unwise to occasionally challenge those in charge.”

“Are you talking about TF or Macnelia?” Jyra asked, raising her eyebrows.

“This isn’t a time for jokes,” Craig said with uncharacteristic coldness. “That said, attacking someone’s position in a campaign like ours is dangerous.”

“I wasn’t attacking,” Jyra said.

“That’s how it sounded,” Craig said. “You weren’t attacking her personally, but you said she wasn’t fit to lead. You can think whatever you want, but saying certain things said out loud can undermine the entire resistance. Everyone on this ship is on the edge as well.”

“What do you mean?” Jyra asked.

“I’m sure you remember the dust storms from when you were growing up,” Craig said.

“No one who’s been through one could ever forget,” Jyra said.

“Tyrorken’s always been a warm planet, but there’s always a breeze,” Craig said. “Except before a dust storm. The air stood still and you’d start sweating immediately. Sometimes, the wind would cease for half an hour or a couple days. But when it returned, it blew the dust skyward. That’s what it’s like right now. We’re sweating and waiting because we’re heading toward something that could get much darker than any dust storm. It’s hard enough to do without causing divisions in the resistance.”

“I wasn’t trying to do that,” Jyra said. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“I do believe you,” Craig said after a moment. “You made me nervous, though. But I suppose it could be worse. You might have said it to someone else. You’d really be in trouble then.”

They climbed down from the gunner’s platform. Jyra’s felt dizzy. She still couldn’t understand Craig’s reaction. She bit her lip, doing her best to mentally review the conversation.

“What’s the matter?” Craig said.

“You scared me,” Jyra said, realizing it as she spoke. “You’re the one who got me into the resistance. You’re the one I’ve been able to come to when I need to get something off my chest.”

“Maybe you should talk to Macnelia about her condition,” Craig suggested. “Just don’t say what you said to me.” Even as he spoke, Jyra remembered Derek had given her the similar advice.

“She’s not too happy with me at the moment. I’ll bring it up to her soon, though,” she said.

“You can still tell me whatever’s on you mind,” Craig added, with an encouraging smile.

Jyra smiled too. “Clearly,” she said, “I can’t.”

*

Back in the safety of her room, Jyra took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She kept replaying the conversation with Craig in her mind. His reaction couldn’t have been more serious, but at the same time it seemed so exaggerated. He’d said that everyone was more nervous than usual. Jyra couldn’t argue with that, especially as she paced back and forth across her room. Maybe Craig’s nerves had gotten the better of him. It certainly played a role in how he responded to Jyra’s opinion.

“He’s not like that,” Jyra said aloud. “Not usually anyway.”

She paced several more times before remembering she had gone to the main hangar to avoid her room as well as the bridge. Craig had remained in the hangar so Jyra didn’t want to go there. In order to leave her quarters, Jyra decided to ignore her misgivings about visiting the bridge and headed toward the bow.

She passed Macnelia’s door and hesitated. Part of her wanted to keep walking; she didn’t even have an idea of how to start the conversation. The rest of her wanted to have the discussion so that she might stop worrying about Macnelia. The sooner I talk things over, the less chance I have of telling more people my suspicions, Jyra thought. Then again, if I cant control myself, maybe Macnelias not the one I should be worried about.

Jyra felt guilty that she hadn’t brought her concerns directly to Macnelia in the first place. Her parents had always said to talk to those who upset her.

“You need to connect with the specific person so that you can move forward,” Tadwin explained. “You can chat to however many people you want about the problem, but if you don’t ever talk to the people involved to resolve it, then you’ve got a loose end. The more loose ends you have, the harder it can be to keep yourself together.”

A shout in the distance took Jyra’s attention elsewhere. It came from where she was already headed. She climbed the ladder onto the bridge to find Macnelia and Neeka yelling at each other. Berk crossed in front of Jyra so quickly, he nearly knocked her down the way she had come.

“I almost had it!” Neeka shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Macnelia. “You ruined it!”

“You need your sleep!” Macnelia shot back. “You’re exhausted!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Neeka said. “How am I supposed to get sleep knowing I was that close?”

“Enough!” Berk roared over the two women. “Take a breath and maybe it’ll clear your heads.”

“That’s the last thing I need,” Neeka muttered.

“Just go to bed,” Macnelia said, pushing her hair out of her face.

Jyra moved away from the ladder to allow Neeka a clear exit. Macnelia glanced at Neeka’s computer monitor for a moment before switching it off.

“Do you think she had something?” Berk asked.

“Does it matter?” Macnelia said. “Until she started shouting, she sounded delirious. She’s acting like all she has to do is crack the code. I’ve seen what happens when she puts too much effort into something like this. Once we know this code, we’re going to need everyone ready to fight. Believe me, if Neeka pushes herself too hard on this task, she’ll be no use in combat.”

Macnelia swept away from Berk and descended the ladder, glancing at Jyra with a neutral expression.

“Might not be a bad idea for everyone to take a nap at the moment,” Macnelia said, as she disappeared into the dim passage below.

Jyra looked at Berk as he came striding back toward his computer.

“What have you been doing up here, besides keeping the peace?” she asked, following him to his console.

“Checking the climate conditions on Tyrorken,” Berk said, taking a swig from his flask.

“Temperatures are pretty high above the ruins of the complex,” Berk explained, pointing at a weather chart of Tyrorken. “That’s expected. But you have to compare the temperatures to this next map.”

He struck several keys and another chart overlaid the first.

“I’ve been analyzing the cloud cover to see if there’s any chance of it thinning enough to get our radar down to the surface,” Berk said. “The hot air seems to be pushing clouds aside. If it keeps up, we could have a shot at discovering how many ships are down there.”

“That could bypass this whole nightmare,” Jyra said, nodding toward Neeka’s console.

“I think the actual battle might be more of a nightmare,” Berk said, sipping from his flask again.

*

Jyra and Berk remained on the bridge, discussing possible approaches to the strike, until they heard someone climbing the ladder. Neeka pulled herself into view. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair disheveled. She shuffled to her computer without a word and sat down. Within a few moments, her defeated appearance shifted and she sat back, placing her hands behind her head and massaging her knuckles.

“What is it?” Berk called across the bridge.

“More encryption,” Neeka said. “They’ve added another layer.”

“TF is fighting off the Nilcyn’s infiltration?” Jyra said.

“If the Nilcyn’s gained control of the communication, it could be the other way around,” Berk reminded her.

“Wait a moment,” Neeka said, sitting up. “There’s a line. It just says ‘launching.’ And there’s the encrypted version of the message. Perfect.” She sat up straight, almost looking like herself again. Her fingers drummed on the keyboard and she smiled. “I think they’re finally overrunning the encryptor.”

“It’s TF,” Berk said. “I would’ve expected their standards to fall much sooner.”

“Not where their security’s concerned,” Neeka said.

“Especially their security,” Berk snorted.

“Why?” Jyra said.

“No one can know for certain because this is the Nilcyns I’m talking about,” Berk said. “But I’ve heard it from enough people on enough planets that the Nilcyns began as the security force for TF.”

“What?” Jyra asked.

“They started traveling with large cargo missions and were able to spread throughout the galaxy that way,” Berk said. “They inspired locals on planets to join them. The way I heard it, they split from TF altogether after they stole a fully loaded cargo ship.”

“Only they still share a communication code,” Jyra said.

“I suppose the process of secession can always be a little more drawn out than people expect,” Berk said.

“This is coming together,” Neeka interrupted.

“You’ve almost got it?” Berk asked.

“Just about,” Neeka said. “My program’s finally got a read on the code. It should crack it soon enough.”

“I—” Jyra started to say she would go get Macnelia, but realized that might not be a good idea. She coughed to give herself a moment to think of something else to say.

“I was wondering how Derek is doing,” she said, rubbing her throat. Berk nudged her with his flask. She declined the offer as Neeka looked in her direction.

“Probably for the best,” Berk muttered, tipping the container away from Jyra.

“He seems fine,” Neeka said. “Complains every now and then. He enjoys the news. Or he did.”

“What do you mean?” Jyra asked.

“The signal cut out just before I came back here,” Neeka said.

Jyra exchanged glances with Berk, but his expression showed no reaction to the news.

“Well something’s definitely happening down there,” Jyra said.

“As long as someone’s talking about it, we’ll soon know what it is,” Neeka said, glancing at her monitor.

*

Jyra returned to her room, relieved that Neeka’s program would have the code solved within the hour. She sat her bed, turning Dario’s dagger in her hands, wondering what he would do in this situation. He had always liked to be prepared for whatever he had to do on a given day. When they built the tree house together, Dario insisted on gathering everything they would need before starting construction. They would arrange the tools and materials in their small shop and make sure the welder had been lubed and calibrated.

If he were here, Jyra thought, hed be checking the cannons and preparing them for battle. If the resistance was on the cusp of solving the enemy’s code, it seemed they should power up the weapons. This thought led Jyra back to the main hangar, but Craig wasn’t there. The cargo door on Mastranada was open and Jyra climbed inside.

She instinctively headed for the cockpit. Just before reaching it, Jyra heard voices. She stepped inside and saw Craig and Shandra sitting together, heads bowed, their fingers locked together. They both looked up at the sound of Jyra’s entrance.

She stopped short and held her breath, her purpose for coming momentarily forgotten.

“What’s going on?” Craig asked, letting go of Shandra’s hands and swiveling in his chair.

“It sounds like Neeka’s nearly cracked the code,” Jyra said, wondering if she was imagining the strange buzz in her voice.

“Excellent,” Shandra said. Jyra didn’t recognize her tone either. It was much brighter than usual.

“I thought it might be about time to hook up the cannon power cables,” Jyra said.

“What did Macnelia say?” Craig said.

For a moment, Jyra wasn’t sure what Craig meant. Did he think she had talked to Macnelia about her condition, or was he asking if Macnelia had ordered to power up the cannons? The confusion only further delayed Jyra recovering herself since entering the cockpit.

“She’s asleep,” Jyra said. “But I think it’s time.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Craig said, with a note of finality.

“Where’s Leonick?” Jyra said, taken aback by how difficult it was to speak. “I should tell him about the code.”

“I think he’s in the engine room,” Shandra said. “On this ship,” she added.

Jyra nodded and departed with a stiff, “thanks,” before heading aft.

She had no intention of finding Leonick. Instead Jyra jumped out of the cargo bay door and waited. She couldn’t go directly to her room because she’d be seen from Mastranadas cockpit. She had to wait a few minutes so that it might seem plausible she had actually gone to speak with Leonick.

Just when Jyra determined enough time had passed, Neeka’s voice filled the main hangar.

“We’ve got a TF vessel heading right for us. Prepare the cannons.”